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OH SNAP Phantomland is back!! Chapter 5! Four new pages! START HERE
If you’re new to this webcomic, start from THE BEGINNING
-Oh shit dawg! Do you see that kid? Do you see -urrrp- that amazing thing coming towards us kid? Is that what I think it is? What do you think kid?
-Y-y-you mean like an u-u-update sir?
-NO NO NO kid you must not say the u-word, the u-word will cause bad luck kid, never -burrrr- say that again goddammit
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This is the full Dinkie chart btw. Top is meat diet, center is vegetable and bottom is noodles. Well-fed Dinkies live for 10 days + one extra day in either angel or demon form, some sources say it’s decided at random but I don’t really know. I’m happy I got the demon though, he looks like a chill fella.
DAY TWELVE
Despite Chris Pratt’s best efforts Dinkie was already beyond help. He was too edgy and s̸̼̼a̹̞̜͝t͇a̫͇̺͖̹n͔͉͓͚̗͘i͏͔͈c̸ for this world
Good night my sweet troubled prince
DAY ELEVEN
GOD DAMMIT DINKIE WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT
YOU WILL NOT GO THROUGH AN EDGY PHASE. NOT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD. If mama finds an ICP album in your room I swear you’ll get an ass-whooping so mighty y̙o͙̜̳u̥̟͚̘'̦̪̙̳̣̪l̖̟̘̤̭l͎͈̬ tell y̞͎̫̭̗͔͔ͮͭo̘̮̳u̦̭̿͌r͕͙͉ g̿͆ͨ̅̔ͪr̰̰̩a̝͇͎̩̱̞̗̋̎n̗͍͓̞̜ͅd̥̣̖̳̥̮̆ͨ̅̂̇k̹̲̖̬̤̏̍̅͊̏i̳͔̥̬̪̪͕d͚̰̓s͉̤̅͋ a̪̙̘̺̣̻b̢̲͚ō̢͈̮̙͙͍̗̗̾̄́ṳ̦̘̙̤̳͈̚t̻̙̟̟̭͚͎͑ͭ ̘̳͓̭̊̈͒̔̈́ͨi̍ţ̩͙̞̩̺͉͊̄ͅ
DAY TEN
Dinkie hit the 100 kilo mark today. Congratulations son, you qualify for the heavyweight series now. Still a total runt by dino standards but hey, THEY’RE ALL DEAD! Good for you!
DAY NINE
Son I don’t know what new hobbies you’ve gotten into but if your entire head got covered in shit you were probably doing it wrong. Wash that off before I disown your dirty ass
DAY EIGHT
Lately he’s been winning at rock-paper-scissors. NOT BECAUSE HE’S ANY GOOD mind you, I just figured out he tends to choose rock most of the time so I exploit it to humor him. Poor bastard thinks he’s hot shit. That’s good for now but don’t forget the world will crush your dreams sooner or later, son
DAY SEVEN
Ok this is acceptable. An acceptable development. Dinkie has finally grown past his “giant sperm” stage and is starting to resemble a productive member of society. Good for you son. Now you’re ready to QUIT PLAYING DATING SIMS AND HIT THE GYM WHAT DID MAMA TELL YOU ABOUT COUCH POTATO SURVIVAL RATE
shorewall said: I’m surprised Dinkie is still alive. Good on ya. :)
eleas07 said: You’re putting too much pression in Dinkie, he will end killing cats for laughs and drinking blood if you continue that way. In the apocalyse we will need cats so we can remember the internet and better times
Parenting has been a long-running tradition in my family so rest assured I know quite well what I’m doing
DAY SIX
Weakling son gets sick. Not only does it make him hungry and moody, his intelligence hits rock-bottom too. You live in an airtight piece of plastic Dinkie how the hell do you catch this brain plague every day. IT WON’T GET EASIER OUT THERE IN THE APOCALYPSE PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
DAY FIVE
Son I am not impressed by your shivering in ordinary room temperature. In the post-apocalyptic wilderness you will embrace freezing cold every day and every night. COLD WILL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, WIFE AND MISTRESS. Or husband, whichever inspires you more. Anyway it’s not fun.